What will “they” think?
Will “they” like me?
Will “they” approve of me?
Will “they” reject me?
Will “they” love me?
Will “they” hate me?
Will “they” agree with me?
Will “they” disagree with me?
“They” can keep me up at night, tossing and turning, trying to figure out what “they” think.
Every time that darn insecurity bug bites me it sends me into the crazy land of “they”.
Obsessing over what “they” think about me.
Have you ever struggled with such ridiculous thinking?
A few weeks ago when I was talking with my therapist (and yes I have a therapist and a life coach … there’s a big difference between the two) I came up with a great idea on how to protect myself from being consumed with “they”, aka other people’s opinions about me.
Sitting on her big comfy couch my therapist asked me to describe who I was. Not who everyone else says I am, but who I truly am as a 40-year old woman.
As tears trickled down my cheeks I could feel myself becoming lighter, more vibrate, and full of life as I expressed the beautiful unique person that God created.
I am compassionate, loving, strong, courageous, beautiful, giving …
As I expressed the truth from my heart I envisioned all the opinions of others bouncing off of me.
All opinions, all words … good, bad, indifferent, kind, mean, shocking, thoughtful …. None of the words were able to land on me. They just bounced off of me.
Instead of allowing those words to penetrate my soul and take root, I was filled with who God says I am, the absolute pure truth.
I decided that day that those are the only words that are allowed to consume me. I don’t need words to puff my ego up and tell me how good I am and I certainly don’t need words to tear me down.
Now I’m not saying we should not receive words of love and compassion from others. By all means we are made for relationship and expressing thoughtful words to one another. This is part of the beautiful gift of life we live.
What I am saying is that we must guard our hearts before allowing anything to come in. Make sure the words that are spoken align with who God says we are before opening ourselves up to every thought, word, or opinion that comes our way.
Proverbs 4:32 says it beautifully, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.
Have you struggled with opinions from others before? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Everyone who comments will be entered to WIN a special devotional book from Lysa TerKeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. Winner announced Feb. 28.
Journal with God: Write in your journal all the words that have been hurting your heart. Maybe even the people who have said those words to you. Then ask God to reveal His truth to you. Write down who God says’ you are, the beautiful truth.
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It’s what God says that’s really important to me. God says I’m loved,grace,beautiful, proverbial and strong . That’s what really matters. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words have blessed my spirit and soul!!
Illonda I love that what’s really important to you is who God says you are. Thank you for being here.
Yes… I have let what other people say sink in and it hurts. I have a history of being quite defensive of criticism and harsh words. I let others steal my peace. With age and experience, I am trying to pray for those who criticize harshly instead of react to their words. Hurting people hurt people.
I agree Tracy that age and experience help greatly! I’ve been praying for those who criticize as well. Even when I don’t feel like it, I pray bless them Lord, show me how I can change. Thanks for sharing today.
Such words of wisdom! Thank you for sharing!! I struggle with this all the time!
Thank you Ashley 🙂
Words can be so hurtful. We can hurt ourselves with our own words spoken to and about ourselves. But, Praise God, there are words that can build us up and remind us who we are in Christ. Beautiful Child of God, loved, forgiven, and always His precious creation. 🙂
Yes Melissa! Praise God for His pure honest truth about who we are 🙂
My older sister and me had been going to schools in our town and had lots of friends. My mom decided that a there was a better school system across the river. It was a town with richer people in it and they dressed their kids up in pretty outfits and had money to do things with them. My older sister was in the 7th grade and I was in the 6th grade. Moving that late in school everyone had already formed their friends and didn’t want us as one. My mother was a cannery worker for Green Giant and dad owned a gas station so that didn’t help us fit in either. My younger sister was in the 3rd grade and their clicks hadn’t been formed yet so she fit in and her being the baby they bought more expensive clothes for her. I was overweight and had to learn to make my own clothes. The kids at school were really mean to my older sister because of her mental problems. I wanted to belong so bad but never fitted in. Then dad being so abusive that I felt unloved to. My mom tried to protect my older sister from my dad’s cruelty and my baby sister was his pick so he spoiled her rotten. No one care for me. I guess that’s when I started really eating chocolate. My older sister and I had to endure this feelings of being out of place. My sister was blackballed from clubs she tried out in high school. Rich kids can be some of the cruelest people. My younger sister was blessed and met a girl that came from a loving family and started taking her everywhere with them. They had a cabin at the lake so in the winter they took her snow skiing and in the summer it was water skiing. She was always doing something fun while I stayed home and got lonelier and lonelier. I would have done anything to fit in. I didn’t even get asked out on dates. Never was asked to participate in anything. Wanted to be in the girls choir but could sing. I was in the girls glee for 4 years with an A grade but they never performed. My mom worked nights and my dad was home at nights. We never did anything as a family. Mom and dad wanted no part of God. They couldn’t even love each other. They never said they loved each other and they could never say anything in a kind voice. It was always snapping voice. I used to dream about being adopted. I’ll quit for now because this is getting so long. Sorry to share a such a hurting heart.
Sharon I’m so sorry for your hurting heart. I pray Lord for Sharon to receive your love with open arms today. She is your beautiful daughter. I pray for her to know the depths of your love Jesus. Amen.
I enjoyed reading your post today & also would like to be entered to win the book.
Thank you Latrelle 🙂
Trying to get to the place where I don’t hear the they’s. I know who God says I am but sometimes the heart and head aren’t synced up. Beautiful post. Thanks.
So true Darlene! Getting the head and heart in alignment takes intentional hard work.
I love this….labels from others only stick if you let them!!
I am wonderfully made, strong, confident, smart, capable, energetic, enthusiastic, determined, stubborn, persistent, passionate, selfless, loving, and nurturing.
Love that too Rebecca. No labels are allowed to stick to me. Only what Jesus says!
Yes I struggled with that also…. What helped me a lot is Galatians 1:10 😉
That’s awesome Esther! Thx for sharing “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal 1:10