My Broken Prayer

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hands

Dear God,

I’m tired. I’m hurting. How can this be happening again? Why are You allowing this pain?

I don’t want to be broken. I want to be whole. I know this is an unrealistic expectation during this lifetime, but I want to be without this ache in my soul. I don’t want another heartache.

Haven’t I been through enough in my life?

I confess God I get angry, very angry because You allow me to walk through these painful trials … yet again.

I’m sorry.

God, how can I live in constant peace in this broken place?

Is that attainable?

Truth is I’m sad … I’m devastated.

I want to fix this with my own hands, in my own strength. The only way I know how to do that is to simply lift my hands up to You with what little strength I have left in me.

Tears soak my face. Dripping on my laptop. The need to understand dissolves.

Thank you God.

I receive Your peace now. I will rest in your constant peace.

Do you have a broken prayer? I would love join you in prayer today. Leave a comment below.

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9 thoughts on “My Broken Prayer”

  1. God, You already know our pain, brokenness, and cries of each heart. Please pour down Your comfort and strength on us now, in Jesus Name! Thank You for caring about us so much, You save each tear.
    How is it possible that I’m 53 with no husband, no job, no place to call home? I’m Your child. You say You are FOR us, not against us. Help us to trust You – with no looking back, no more constant thoughts of regrets and tormenting dreams destroyed. Please help us look forward in hope and great expectations – eyes focused on You. We surrender! What else can we do, but wait on You to rescue and restore us to Your perfect peace and plans…. Amen

  2. But it’s those moments that even after you pray you still can’t feel at peace…

    • Hi Angela, that’s when I know I should continue to trust in and wait for the Lord, as long as it takes, for His perfect timing.
      I’m not saying I always do, by any means. In fact, in recent years, I got discouraged and depressed more often than not. But when I got to the end of myself and doing things MY WAY, I know where (Who) to go to.
      I wish I had something profound to tell you that would make everything better. But I’m convinced God is still with us and He loves us. When I seek Him with all my heart and soul, I have peace in the waiting. I have zero peace when I do what I want. And only cause more pain and delays.
      I hope you are listening to praise and worship music. That is what got me through many dark days when I didn’t think I was going to (or want to) survive. May our Lord bless you and give you His peace that passes all understanding.

  3. Wow! I skimmed your post, found my name, hit the reply button. THEN I went back and read your post carefully with intention. It fits so well with what my husband and I are going through with his cancer, the stress of work, etc. Thank you for being there for me and for my husband. I will share it with him.

  5. Broken prayer….. I feel so bad when I question the Lord. But, there are times when I just want and need Him to fix things. He has a certain plan for my life. I pray that I will remember His plan is better than anything I can imagine. 🙂

  6. I am just now reading this, and wow. Thank you Linda for your authentic self. It’s so easy for us to think that these struggles are just ours, and no one would understand. I’ve beaten myself up even for not being a good and faithful Christian, and wondered how others seem to have it all together. But the truth is we all struggle with these same thoughts you so beautifully expressed. I have been praying for years for guidance. I know He is for me and with me, but it’s the times when I don’t see Him working. But the truth is He is always working for us. We don’t see the results when or like we thought, so we question or doubt. We have pain and struggles, so we question or doubt. But looking back on each of these occasions of struggle, fear, anxiety, loss, pain…I see how He has used that to mold me. I’m a better person for them. I have to remember that in the times of doubt. He is working on making me who he created me to be. And that chisel can hurt, but the result is His masterpiece.

  7. Pingback: Let Go | Linda Kuhar, Christian Life Coach

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