Are “they” Really That Important?

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What will “they” think?

Will “they” like me?

Will “they” approve of me?

Will “they” reject me?

Will “they” love me?

Will “they” hate me?

Will “they” agree with me?

Will “they” disagree with me?

“They” can keep me up at night, tossing and turning, trying to figure out what “they” think.

Every time that darn insecurity bug bites me it sends me into the crazy land of “they”.

Obsessing over what “they” think about me.

Have you ever struggled with such ridiculous thinking?

A few weeks ago when I was talking with my therapist (and yes I have a therapist and a life coach … there’s a big difference between the two) I came up with a great idea on how to protect myself from being consumed with “they”, aka other people’s opinions about me.

Sitting on her big comfy couch my therapist asked me to describe who I was. Not who everyone else says I am, but who I truly am as a 40-year old woman.

As tears trickled down my cheeks I could feel myself becoming lighter, more vibrate, and full of life as I expressed the beautiful unique person that God created.

I am compassionate, loving, strong, courageous, beautiful, giving …

As I expressed the truth from my heart I envisioned all the opinions of others bouncing off of me. 

All opinions, all words … good, bad, indifferent, kind, mean, shocking, thoughtful …. None of the words were able to land on me. They just bounced off of me.

Instead of allowing those words to penetrate my soul and take root, I was filled with who God says I am, the absolute pure truth.

I decided that day that those are the only words that are allowed to consume me. I don’t need words to puff my ego up and tell me how good I am and I certainly don’t need words to tear me down.

Now I’m not saying we should not receive words of love and compassion from others. By all means we are made for relationship and expressing thoughtful words to one another. This is part of the beautiful gift of life we live.

What I am saying is that we must guard our hearts before allowing anything to come in. Make sure the words that are spoken align with who God says we are before opening ourselves up to every thought, word, or opinion that comes our way.

Proverbs 4:32 says it beautifully, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.

Have you struggled with opinions from others before? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Everyone who comments will be entered to WIN a special devotional book from Lysa TerKeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. Winner announced Feb. 28.

Journal with God: Write in your journal all the words that have been hurting your heart. Maybe even the people who have said those words to you. Then ask God to reveal His truth to you. Write down who God says’ you are, the beautiful truth.

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Linda Kuhar is a Certified Christian Life Coach, Board Certified Life Coach, Certified Human Behavior Consultant, Author, Speaker and Mentor. Click here to learn more about coaching with Linda & frequently asked questions about the experience.

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