Lay Down My Pride

Can I be brutally honest with you?  I’ve decided I really do not like Mother’s Day.  Every single flipping year, I fall into the same trap!  In the back of my mind I set unrealistic expectations from the ones I love and create a fantasy of how the day will unfold. I honestly start the day with a thankful attitude of how grateful I am that God has allowed me one more year with my family.  However, as the day progresses I start tallying up everything they did not “do for me” whether it be just the right words of endearment, princess treatment, an array of gifts….

So this year, I once again had the mother of the year-unglued eruption.  I ended up yelling at my husband with my prima donna rights demanding everything that I deserve for all the hard work I do 365 days a year.  And then the very second I shut my mouth I immediately felt that sick empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I knew I had once again fallen into that ugly place called pride.  It didn’t take long before I realized what a fool I’d been on yet another Mother’s Day.

How in the world could I fall prey to the devil’s schemes of pride after all the endless love, care, support and encouragement my husband has provided for me throughout our 18 years of marriage?  I mean this is the man that not only stood by my bed side while I was in a coma cheering me on not to give up, ran a household, went to work and cared for our heartbroken daughter while she cried asking him, “Is mommy going to die?”   Honestly, I cannot imagine the load my husband carried just throughout my cancer journey alone, much less the 15 years prior to that ordeal.

So after all that, I had a choice to make. Sit and wallow in guilt and condemnation for my ridiculous behavior or lay down my pride and apologize.  With God’s nudging I chose the latter.  The funny thing is while apologizing to my husband I came to the conclusion what the real problem was all along; I was feeling insecure which led me to put unrealistic expectations on my family.  I realized through this humbling Mother’s Day that I was expecting others to satisfy and fill parts of me that Only God, our Savior can do.  God is the One and Only that can truly satisfy our souls. 

I would like to ask you today, are you putting unrealistic expectations on others to fill parts of you the only God can?  I would love to hear from you, just to know I’m not alone in this 🙂 Leave a comment on the link below.